Women everywhere, including women in southeastern Manitoba, have been sharing the hashtag #metoo on their social media accounts, stating they are among the many women who have experienced sexual abuse and harassment in their life.
Cyndy Friesen is an Agape House board member, an organization she explains which is in Steinbach to help women escape all types of domestic violence, including those who have been sexually abused. She says Stats Canada has found 95% of women do not report sexual assaults to the police, and 90% of perpetrators are known to their victims. She adds Manitoba has been recognized as having one of the highest rates of sexual violence in all of Canada.
"All communities [are affected], no one is immune to this. But I think, because of the stigma that's attached to it, people don't want to talk about it, so it gets buried."
Reverend Melissa Frankland, from the St. Paul's Luthern Church in Steinbach, says being open, honest, and walking with one another through life's struggles is a way to bring these issues to light. She notes being silent is simply shutting a door on the issue which may make it harder for someone to come forward and share their experience or seek help.
"If we keep silencing the voices whether it's men or women [who are experiencing sexual abuse or harassment], if we stop the conversation then #metoo, you may as well just erase it off social media. Then we won't be able to improve and grow as a society."
Reverend Frankland says this is an issue which happens everywhere to both men and women, even in the church because the church is a place where people who are hurting and lost come, adding it's also a place where people seek healing.
Cari Penner is a Steinbach City council member. Penner says she asked a group of women of all ages about #metoo and says there was a collective agreement that this is an issue which all women have faced, some on a daily basis.
"What this is really about is power. Sexual abuse and harassment are about power, not really the act of sex, but about who is more powerful."
"The reason we do that is because we're being told sometimes that it's all in our heads or we're imagining things or do we really think that we're so attractive that this could happen to us. So, we're actually belittled and ridiculed for it."
She says the fact that so many women have experienced this kind of mistreatment is not a surprise to those who have experienced it personally.
"So many of us have experienced either small or significant issues with this. It could be a wolf whistle when you're walking along down the street, it could be unwanted stares from someone in a restaurant, or feeling very unsafe walking through a parking lot. It could be something at the workplace, it could be something at church or any public gathering that happens. People refuse to see it or they ignore it."
Reverend Franklin says #metoo could be the first step in social justice, which is to acknowledge what is happening and name the issue. She notes the second step is always the hardest because it focuses on creating a plan and affecting change.
Penner adds, "The problem with this (#metoo) is it's just about people acknowledging their pain and there's no accountability from the people who bear the blame. But if we're really going to change this culture, we need to shift the focus on how do we deal with this, how do we get this out so people are willing to say, 'stop, this is enough, and this behaviour will not be tolerated.'"
She says it's also important to implement more education to the younger generations, to raise children who are taught by their parents and by their elders how to respect others and respect themselves.
"The boundaries, the healthy boundaries that they should be encouraged to have about touching or unwanted advances or any kind of demeaning behaviours towards them. That would be a really good start."
Friesen notes, as a board member of Agape House, she knows their emergency shelter services are in demand, therefore this kind of mistreatment is present in our community. She mirrors Penner noting education is the key.
"We need to educate our young people and young children to know what boundaries are and what's acceptable and what's not acceptable; how to say no. I think that would already help in the process of identifying sexual abuse."
She says there also needs to be an attitude change where people are supportive and stand up for others in the workplace or at school who are being harassed or abused.
Penner says men would experience sexual abuse and harassment differently than a woman, and deal with it differently. She notes the difference is women are told they brought it upon themselves whereas a man may have his masculinity questioned for not being able to stand up for himself.
While Friesen notes Agape House's services are in demand, Penner adds she would agree and say it happens here in Steinbach and southeastern Manitoba all the time.
"It happens very covertly sometimes, or overtly. But it happens all the time, even among women you hear either subtle references to something like this that has happened to them, or maybe they really break down and tell their friend. We hear it all the time it's just something that has been covered, so to speak, because people are ashamed to speak out about it."
Reverend Franklin says, stating a form of mistreatment isn't present somewhere is dangerous.
"Because the reality is that it happens everywhere. Humanity is in itself a very fallen nature, so we do things that are contrary to who we are. To me, it doesn't matter if we're in Steinbach or a little place on PEI, the reality is that it happens here and the danger is, is that having that idea [that those things don't happen here] is very dangerous, it silences what's going on in society."
She reiterates, silencing what's happening hinders change and moving forward. Reverend Franklin says, in combination with educating people, her hope and dream would be to see our society desexualized, to take away images which are ever so present in our current society.
Sat, Apr 20, 1:00 AM
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